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Making co-parenting work when things get difficult

One of the ways that some parents are opting to parent their children after a divorce is through co-parenting. This is an arrangement that will have you spending time with your ex as you parent your children.

Co-parenting is an arrangement that isn't always easy. After all, you and your ex didn't get divorced because you get along so well. There are some ways that you can make the situation a bit easier to deal with. Here are some pointers that might help you along the way.

Your children aren't messengers

No matter what happens during a child custody case, don't treat your children as messengers. The children have a lot to deal with on their own and don't need the added stress of having to remember things that one parent wants them to tell the other parent. Instead, use emails, phone calls, texts or a parenting communication app to get the messages back and forth.

Flexibility is the key

Co-parenting is based on being flexible. You likely won't ever have a schedule for having your child that you can always turn to. Instead, you and your ex work with each other to determine when the child will be with whom. One way that you can make this easier is to communicate your work schedule to your ex so that he or she can know what is going on. Hopefully, your ex will do the same thing.

Family time is sacred

The time that you spend with your children alone is a time when you should be focused on your children. When you are with the children and your ex, the focus still needs to be on the children. The time that you have alone is the time that you can do things for yourself. And, you should make sure to take full advantage of that time so that you are refreshed and ready when you have your children.

Calmness can always help

You should try to remain calm when you are around your ex. There might be skirmishes along the way, but making sure that you keep calm can help to diffuse the situation. If things get too tense, you might have to be the one who is willing to take a few steps back. Arguing in front of the children isn't a good idea. If you can, keep quiet now and address the issues with your ex when the children aren't around.

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