Child custody decisions are some of the most difficult that come during a divorce. You and your ex might disagree about how the children should be raised. This can make things related to child custody even more difficult to handle.
There are two primary ways that child custody cases can be handled. The first one is that you and your ex work together to come up with the terms of the agreement. This is something that can work well in these cases since you and your ex know your child. You can bring this personal knowledge to the table during negotiations.
The second way is that you can let the court decide on the matters. This is sometimes necessary if the two parents can't come to the decisions on their own. The issue with this is that the court doesn't have personal knowledge about the child's desires. This can make it hard for the court to make decisions.
No matter which of these methods is necessary in your case, your child's best interests have to be kept at the center of the case. Child custody cases aren't the time for either parent to try to get back at the other parent for things that happened in the divorce or before it.
If you and your ex are going to work toward a mutually agreeable custody order, you need to be willing to negotiate. You can decide what the points you can't waiver are and choose the ones that you can be flexible about. Doing this is likely going to be preferable to putting your child's fate in a stranger's hands.
Source: FindLaw, "How Child Custody Decisions Are Made," accessed Sep. 29, 2017